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AutumnThe beginning of autumn. You don't really notice it. It sort of creeps up on you.
It's the beginning of a new season, a new fraction of the year.
But you're so busy with school starting, juggling friends, family, and sports, that you don't notice the first orange leaves, the first thin clouds floating lazily above your head.
But when autumn has officially arrived, it's hard to miss. The crisp, fresh air begins to carry a bit of a chill. Each morning holds a little more fog, and the crunch of leaves beneath your boots becomes sharper. The cheer of summer has faded, and been replaced by the concentrated seriousness of fall. The g
Home AgainSo I missed a couple doses,
I didn't mean to.
Sometimes I just forget.
But it doesn't matter,
It's good to have you home again,
Right by my side.
So I have to deal with those who whisper in my ear -
Commands I must not obey.
But it doesn't matter,
It's good to have you home again,
Right by my side.
And though they hate me,
And wish me dead,
And love to toy with me like a doll,
I have you.
And that's all that matters.
So I'm feeling lost in life,
And it's hard sometimes to see the light,
And handle my anger and hate.
So I feel angry at everything sometimes,
And I just want everyone to leave me a
Fear the UnknownThrough all the blood and teardrops,
I've learned to fear holding your hand.
I need you to know that I'm not that strong,
and that I know it's hard to understand.
I've made a promise to hold you up,
but in the end is that really enough?
You're resting in the hands of a broken soul
that's still inches beneath the ground.
catch the stars to remember her wishesi.
she rememberes the little things first.
her favorite color is purple
she likes blueberry pancakes,
and leaves pennies face-up on random street corners.
even with these pieces, it feels like
a huge chunk has been torn away that she could never retrieve
there are scars on her person
she does not remember getting.
her body is a map of memories
she does not know how to read.
they say she used to be calm and collected,
but now she is hot and fiery,
and they don't know her anymore.
but that's okay, because she doesn't know herself.
she misses the sun,
and the bad school coffee and English projects
and her own b
Then good luck knocks you downIs it that every time
dreams come within grasping distance
The harsh wounds of good luck
sweep in, slashing our very existence.
Why is it that with every tip toe forward
We are pulled ten steps back.
Yet still we greet good luck as it approaches
Forgetting the hard truth at the bottom of our stomach
The inevitability of it striking again.
Keeper of my heart and dreamsKeeper of my dreams
You thread on them
My heart always in your hands
Without you I merely exist
Cause when you're not there,
those days and nights we don't share
Those times, my life is incomplete
But when your around keeper of hearts and dreams...
I have nobody left to seek.
No longer know
what day it is
Or what is the month
This clock has never seemed so alive.
AdiosYou don't look much different,
even though you've changed.
Thought I really knew you,
But hey how should I know.
Now I could look straight through you,
What happened, where'd YOU go.
Your friendship has a knack,
for disappearing over night.
Appearance hasn't changed much,
Despite how far you've gone.
The one I once held on a pedestal,
My goodness how things change.
Who will suicide hurt?Empty and cold inside
Is this all that's left
This narration inside my mind
The ability to have these thought is the only thing keeping me alive
What would it be without them
No pain to think about
Nothing to worry about
I wouldn't need to cry anymore
I'd still be empty, but atleast I wouldn't have to know it
I can't cry anyway
There are no tears left inside
It's like my sorrow is too much to express
But would others cry
What about my parents, my friends, my one true love, would they cry
My parents wouldn't shed a tear
I have to friends to shed tears for me
For me, there exists no one true love
There is no lover to shed a tear for me
I was scared I'd hurt someone, but there is no one to hurt
If there is no one to shed a tear for me, than why should I shed a tear for myself
Don't I deserve it?Why is the flesh so fragile?
Soft skin turns to jagged red lines
The day before the snow came
Three years ago so similar
Right to this day, before the moon came out
This life I live, it frightens them
One week ago I finally went insane
I cut some more jagged lines
Right down to the bone, my love
I hope this hurts you
As much as it hurts me every day
Don't I deserve it, my love?
After all, I blame you
All of my insecurities, spoon fed
Only by you, my sweet love
So go home, let me rest
Do I not deserve it, my love?
Another year lostAnother year passes,
Another day fades away,
Another chance lost,
As my body starts to decay.
Another heart to be broken,
Another tear to be cried,
Another friendship to end,
As my life is swept aside.
Another mistake to be made,
Another lie to be told,
Another bond to be broken,
As I begin to fold.
I remember this day,
As a symbol of my life,
Another broken man,
Who has no strengh left to fight.
Swallow My SoulMy heart
begins to glow
as I call out
You may be
but I swear,
you're right here
It's time for
time for dreams
and I know
when I wake.
keep it safe
there will be
we cannot cross,
I love you
Can't you see
that this is
I've never felt
could ever compare
The Me You Tried To CreateWhy do you constantly compare?
I can't be exchanged
For another you prefer
Trying to meet your expectations
Isn't worth it anymore
This silence is louder than my screaming
I'm ready to be heard
I'm done pretending
Somewhere along the way
I lost the me you tried to create
This tiny spark of fight in me
Was more than you could take
The defeat in your eyes
Was the push that was needed
For this fire to ignite
Time to break free and find me
Take control of my life
What happened to moving on
I wanted to take steps forward
But you were already too far gone
Pointing out my flaws
Like they weren't already starring me down
HelpSomeone please take the tightness and bury it deep
Take it far away from me because I can not sleep
My brain is in chaos
There is no peace
As I walk amongst the thorns
That I put beneath my feet
My BelovedWhen the sun
hits your eyes in that way
The deep chocolate shines
A brilliant gold
And when you smile
With all your heart
They squint into little half-moons
And sparkle like a fox
Your lips are delicate
so soft against mine
The only tie I have
to express all these unspoken things
They whisper "I love you"
But it is so much more
So many things I never said
Best not to say now
Thank you for those times
Where you were everything to me
My morning, my sunshine, my heart
The thing that made living worth it
And reminding me
How good love really feels
You were the only one
Who really made me feel whole
Why did it have to be th
TwistedEverything is so messed up
I’m so confused
I should be crying,
But instead I’m laughing
At my last breath.
When the world is backwards
I’m so confused
The sky is ground
The north is south
And I find myself swinging
From the cobblestones
And with dirty hands, walking
Gripping with knuckle bones
Why is it, turned all around
I’m so confused
Yes means no
Wrong is right
And I’m enthralled with hurting people
Destroying their souls
And living, but actually dead
And somehow hurt consoles
At this rate I’ll be
Falling down to heaven
Or flying up to hell
TwistedA wicked girl
A twisted witch
A saddened, downward, rusted, hitch.
She's done the worst
She's seen the best
Her seething lies we all detest.
Her eyelashes are false
Her lips are stained
Her voice is mute
She screams in pain
Tonight is the night she goes insane.
This Love That Was Mine His love that is mine, is mine alone.
He's my charming prince that sits on his rusting bronze thrown.
He boasts of his overgrowing fame, I listen clear as I ease his pain singing pure melodic tones in his own deaf ear.
His love that is mine, is mine indeed.
He's a one of a fair kind that is a dying breed.
He wishes only kind peace and rest, but sadly he will not show it through his thousand masks he wears never the less.
His love that is mine, is mine today.
I will hold him close until he gives me away.
But I will love him endlessly until that day.
Until out of his courts I am violently thrown.
His love that
Unwanted ScarsI still remember the wicked laughing and tears...
I'll never forget your face when I finally started to bleed...
I still remember the bruises I found...
I'll never forget the moment you admitted what you had done...
I still remember the nights we held each other whispering lies...
I'll never forget the beatings I took...
I still have some of the scars from the fights...
I'll never get rid of the violation I still feel...
I still cry at night thinking of how I'll never get back what I lost unwillingly...
I used to watch you with a loving smile as you danced and laughed while you caught everyone's attention... I used to hold your hand
Whenever You Leave Whenever you leave me a part of me dies
Whenever you get off the phone I start to cry
Whenever you ask if I'm okay I go ahead and lie
Whenever I see you walking towards me I smile as a disguise
I'm so lost without you
I miss your touch and voice
Don't ever leave me lonely
Or put me down like an unwanted toy
I love you more than words can speak
Or a song, or this poem convey
I hope to marry and love you forever someday
So when I start to cry, and you ask me what is wrong
Just hold me close and sing in my ear an adolecent song
Something to ease the pain of waiting, something to lease
UnawareToo much to feel, too little to care
So let's all act like we're unaware.
Her life is just fine, she doesn't cut
Her thoughts are uplifting, she's not a slut
Let's wave to her smiling and get on with the day
Like she doesn't exist to us anyway
No need to worry she isn't depressed
She's never screamed when she was distressed
Let's all turn a blind eye to the one that needs us
Because I'm sure she's alright
And you know she's never cussed
She's just perfect so why help her out?
All she really wants is the benefit of the doubt.
She does cry at night, her cuts just don't scar,
Disappear If the darkness pierced the day
And all the people ran away
Every store and house abandoned
All the statues left solemnly standing
If only you were left there still
Would you shrink in sadness or find your will?
Would you strengthen yourself to live alone?
Would you live like it was light even though the darkness shown?
Or what if YOU disappeared
And all that you knew and loved that were near
Staid and lived their lives on through
Would they mourn for you?
Never Really AloneTake me on an adventure, I'm ready for the ride, though life may seem normal I can make it out to be more than what turns in the tides. I know not the future. I know not the past. But if there's one thing that I know for sure is that this love will last. No matter thick and thin, no matter how weak the bond, every single day I've thought of you and I've hung on. I've had visions, I've had dreams and I can feel it in my bones, the lonely nights I've been crying now I know that I was never really alone.
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More